Tuesday, October 26, 2010

creating home.

I'm obsessed with houses. Have been for a long time. Most little girls dream of their wedding day but not me. I dreamt of a house. I watched all those house decorating shows long before I lived in my own space. Spent years scouring House-for-Sale magazines and websites and drooling over homes I couldn't afford.

I don't know why. Maybe because growing up my home didn't always feel like home to me. Not in the way a home should. Comfortable, cozy, happy and safe.

I always wanted a big rambling farmhouse on several acres- I've sort of explained my inspiration for this before. Years ago, I wanted the farm house but with out the farm. Now I want the farm too.

We have been very, very blessed to have been given the opportunity to live in and buy this house. So why am I still mooning over other homes?

I think in part because we never picked this house, really. We love it. But. There are things we wanted that we don't have. A space for The Husbands music. A fourth bedroom. A usable basement. Another acre (or few). Things I wanted that I don't have. A craft room. A house that needed some work. Walking into a ready made house makes it really hard for me to change things.

There are several things in the house that I want to change, or would change, but I won't. Because I have a hard time changing or getting rid of something that is perfectly fine and in good shape.

And so, we're in this home and it feels like home and it does feel like our home, but there's something missing. I don't know. I think because it was so ready (I mean, they even left gorgeous Stickly and Ethan Allen furniture!) we haven't really had to create a home.

Now that we've been here a year, we're learning more about what we need and want. Now what we need to do is learn how to make that work in this home. Because the fact is that I don't live in a big farmhouse. A farmhouse, yes - but a smaller one and a completely remodeled one.

We've added a few things -

like the fort,



and fire pit.

We still have a lot more to do with the land. Right now, with winter fast approaching - my thoughts are already inside.

Someday, maybe - we'll be in a position to remodel. Not now. Anything that happens now is quick and cosmetic.

You can see from my tumblr what sort of houses and areas I like. I just need to work on creating similar areas in our house, which is hard because of all the wood walls (likely something we will never change).

There are some things that I would like done sooner, rather than later:

Kids rooms. Paint and arrange better. The paint is fine, it's a lovely color - but it's the first time they've had their very own room and I want them to make it theirs.

Finish creating my sewing space. I've taken over a small corner of our room. Now I need to make it an official sewing space, without clashing with the rest of our room.

Paint the living room bookshelves. Our house needs a little lightening up.

Slipcover the pullout loveseat

Replace kitchen lighting

Create art area for the kids (this will be tough to make space for in the room we have allotted) Originally I was going to get rid of this gorgeous and uncomfortable chair, but someone started using it daily.

Things I do love about our house:

It's cozy.

Even though it's not big, it's the biggest place we've ever lived.

This tub.

The cool things in our woods.

And in the end, what I really want is a place that we all love. Not because of the space, or the design, but because we all feel safe and loved here. A place where we not only eat and sleep and live, but become alive and dream and create and grow. A home filled with music and laughter and family and friends.

What does home mean to you? What sorts of things or feelings are most important to you in a home?

"It is not the homes that I love, 
but the lives that are lived there"


City Sister said...

What a ramble through your little world...there's nothing like living in one place to learn what you want from the next...like that wonderful woodstove!

BrittanButterfly said...

I can relate to your post. We rent, but I wish I had my own home. When I was younger I used to draw houses in detail. I would have all these fun and crazy rooms with all sorts of different themes. Now it is a little bit simpler, but I still dream... Good luck I hope you get your dream home!

Marianna said...

What a great post. I can relate to your reluctance to replace what isn't broken. I have the same issue in my home. We've been here two years, but it still doesn't feel quite like home.

Have you considered making a few small changes and donating what you can?

And, don't be afraid to paint that paneling! My parents had a house covered in knotty pine. She painted all but one wall in her living room and it made a huge difference. The room was actually more comfortable after because it didn't feel like it was closing in on you.