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Weekend Scenes

The official move - all in 24 hours

unpacking and unpacking and unpacking

Colin's first new house find. We let him go later

Pizza on the grill

Colin's birthday party two days after the move.
Yes, we are insane.

Bouncing into the night

Thank goodness for Grandmas who bake cakes
We never would have pulled it all together.

A few of the tomatoes that survived the move and the blight

It's been a long, stressful, and unfortunately drama filled weekend. We are settling nicely into the house, the kids love it, we love it. We still have days :coughweekscough: of unpacking left, but it will get there. I'm on overtime for opening the next two weeks too. I'm not ready for summer to be over - but I am ready for things to fall into a routine again. I'm exhausted!

Weekend Scenes . . .

Just a little late.

It's been so.crazy. here!

We're moving in one day now (!) - but we still took a little vacation last week. Kicked it off Wednesday, which happened to be the 8th anniversary of my 21st birthday. We left to go to camping and to the Phish show on Thursday. We had to wait for some friends to get out of work so we left maybe 5ish.

The whole way there I'm nagging Kevin about watching his speed. I'm a fun person to drive with, really. I don't clutch the door or brace my arm on the ceiling or nag excessively about the way we're driving. Really. I mean, who does that? Not me. :ahem: moving on . . .

So - we pull into this bizarre parking lot at 7ish or so. I'm pretty confused cause I'm not seeing campgrounds anywhere. It's at the back of a neighborhood but past all these horse stalls. I thought it was a pretty strange place for a state park, I'm thinking that we check in here and go somewhere else. So I'm looking around all dazed and confused like - and every time I ask what this is, what's going on, every one (3 friends and my sister in law and Kev) laughs and telsl me we're going to dinner. Now, not that we happen to be an overly sarcastic bunch or anything - giving me any reason to doubt them - but I was pretty sure they were making fun of me. I could not figure out what was so funny and what in the world was going right over my head.

Oh. We actually are going out to dinner. What? Why?

Oooooh, cause it's my birthday and my husband was super sweet and completely surprised me with dinner reservations!

Ooooooooooohhhhhh that's why he was a little heavy on the peddle - to get there in time and all.

Oh!

And that wasn't it! Two more of our friends, who were meeting us the next day - felt bad about not being there for my birthday dinner - so called ahead and paid for my meal! (I got the scallops - nom!)

And theeeeeennnnnn - my sneaky husband disappears and comes back with a cake. That him and his sister baked. And frosted. And drove with two hours with, without me knowing. And put candles on it. And brought it into the restaurant. And sang happy birthday to me. (I turned purple).




What a sweet birthday - and what a sweet husband and friends I have.


Then camping and the next day - off to Phish! It was hot. Really hot. Like melting hot. But also a ton of fun! Phish has grown on me. I saw my first show when I was 18 and VERY pregnant with Evan. That show happened to be on my birthday too.

My next show was 6 years later - Coventry, VT - their "last show". That was an experience (and also across my birthday!) 2 days on the highway. In the rain. Then we were all told to turn around and go home - there was no way to get everyone in because of all the mud. So thousands and thousands of people parked their cars on the highway and hiked in. We were 15 miles back - but some people were as far back as 40 miles. 2 seconds after crossing the gate into the festival, I snapped my ankle and spent the next three days wearing duct tape, gauze, and hiking boots.




Then it was another 5 years - Hampton VA for their first show back, and my first indoor show.



Now - this past week. Yet another birthday show. More than the music( that I've grown to love) I love the crowd. The community. I love watching the lot fill up and become this little temporary town. It's indescribable, really, and completely amazing. It's worth it, every time. The cost, the drive, the traffic - all of it.


From there - we drove across NY to the Catskills for my dad's family camp out/reunion. My dad has 11 siblings and for the past 15 years or so we all (his siblings and spouses and their kids and spouses and their kids) all get together somewhere different and camp for a few days together. It's a wonderful tradition.




We came back home Monday - and are now spending these last days in 95 degree heat with through the roof humidity, packing the last of our stuff - getting things lined up and ready to go - and in 2 more days - we'll be off to the dream house!

Thanks for reminding me . . .

I've spent several years moving towards a lifestyle of frugality and simplicity. Partly for financial reasons - but more in part because it feels right. I feel centered and satisfied when I'm on track with that.

But lately, we've been spendy. We've been continuing our (my?!) movement in some ways. Planting from seed, growing food. Buying locally and local organically. Reducing. Reusing. Buying secondhand. Making beer and wine at home.

But somehow, sometimes - the little things get out of control and I'm suddenly surprised to see how far off track we've gotten.

That happened this morning, when I paid the credit card bill. I pay on it weekly, I had a plan to have it paid off in a year (we didn't owe much). So imagine my shock when I checked the balance today and it was almost maxed out! HOW did that happen?!

Well, the little things I guess. A little here, a little more there. Little+little+little= a whole stinkin' lot.

And on top of that my car essentially caught on fire last week - there was all sorts of nasty smoke billowing out on my way home. Something about something dying and burning some belt and yada yada 400 dollars to repair it. That's after a grand in repairs between the cars in March.

So a whole stinkin' lot on the credit card + obscene amounts in car repairs + a ridiculous fee for a lawyer to write up a simple contract (for the fab new house) = Me Stressed.

Thing is, we like to spend. I like thrift shops (hey - they're thrifty, I mean - it's in the NAME!). Kev likes microbrews. We both like live music (and festivals)

We don't spend extravagantly. We don't. You know, just a little here and a little there. : /


But it's cool. I mean, it sucks. But it's also cool. Or will be. Maybe.

This happens to us sometimes. The husband is a student. Which means no reliable income from his side. My income is pennies. Or close to it. So we scrimp and save and just get by. And then we do really well for a really long time, so we loosen up a little and treat ourselves just a little. And then a little more. And, well, we've already been over the Little Equation.

At any rate, it's good - or can be - when this happens. I mean, it's no fun being broke. Especially not during the summer. But it helps to recenter and remind us. It has us choosing the free little things again. We got the Empire Pass this year - so we don't have to pay to get into State Parks. Free hiking. Free Swimming at the beach(es).

And there's still other things too. The kiddie pool out back. Painting rocks. Examining bugs. Reading books. Making ice cream at home instead of going out for it. And on and on.

AND, it recommits me at home too. Reminds me how I wanted to sew up new couch pillows, and make aprons. Finding vintage aprons at rummage sales and thrift stores is fun (and addicting!) - but I can make my very own. For free, from my already huge fabric stash. And who knows, maybe someday some one will be scooping up my aprons at a rummage sale and squealing with joy at such a great vintage find. Or maybe one day my daughter in law or grand daughter will be cherishing those items. Vintage is fun, but homemade is cherished.

It also reminds me how important and wonderful our progress has been. By planting seeds for food this year, we have lettuce producing now - and cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers, scallions and (hopefully!) broccoli on the way.

We've been slowly stocking our freezer with market meats. Fresh picked to freeze berries. Extra homemade bread. I've been learning to can.

We're not broke - just close :)

But this is a reminder that we are on the right path, that sometimes we may slip, but we have protection to catch us if we fall. We know how to get by on less. We have food. We have the tools to get by. It's also a reminder to keep on truckin'. To keep on saving. Simplifying. Stocking Up.

What's great is this next year will continue to bring us closer to our goals. The new house will give us the option of relying completely on wood heat. The woods are already bordered by raspberries and blackberries for picking and storing. There's enough land to get a respectable potager going. Composting.

We're on our way.

So yeah, this morning was a bit of a shock. A bit of a reawakening. But also a wonderful, timely reminder of what we really want, where we are really going, and what really matters.

Great.

As if I wasn't feeling the guilt enough, while reading the news at work today - I came across this:

Kids who move more than three times have twice the suicide risk



Fabulous. This will be move four for Evan. Yes, each time the decision to move was made so we had more space and a better place for the kids (and it was better financially for us as well). Yes each time, we prepared Evan, kept in contact with friends. All the "right" things.

But has it been enough? I don't know. He's already expressed displeasure at moving this time. But this is it! We're done renting (sort of). We won't be moving for a long, long time. It is more than worth it to make this move, and if we didn't now - we'd have to in a year anyway.

But boy, reading that article hit me like a slap across the face this morning.

Taking the Leap

We're going to do it. Let go. Take the leap. Move out, move on, move in.

It's time, and we're ready.

Really, we can't let this opportunity go. Chances like this come once in a lifetime, if you're lucky.

I think it will be good for all of us. It won't be easy. We'll have to adjust. But in the end, I truly believe this will be good.

It's what I've always wanted but would have been too scared to choose on my own, without this :push:

I've never been good with change. I like familiarity. I like routine. I never knew this, or realized this, about myself until recently. But it's true.

And sometimes I almost need to be forced to change before I will. But I always adapt. I always find a way. Sometimes I find the way. I'm pretty sure this is one of those times. I am nervous. Apprehensive. But I know- I do- that this is right. I feel it, deep down, that this is the way to go.

We're still using words and phrases like "if this happens" and "if we choose this".




But we all know what we're really saying. We're not saying if. We're saying when.

Crossroads . . . ?

I've grown up in the suburbs. An area that I watched change from farms to a very busy suburb. But it's never been rural, really - as long as I've lived here.

My aunt and uncle and cousins live on a farm a few hours from us. I always loved going there. It was all so wonderful and exciting and different. I think their house is where my love and fascination of farmhouses came from. It was really an orchard, not an animal farm. Though there were ponies and peacocks. I was always in awe of those peacocks.

A red house, atop a dirt/gravel road. Tire swing in the front yard. I just loved it. I loved the land. I loved the smell. They lived only a few minutes outside a busy city, but it felt like a whole different world. And I never remember them, or us, ever being bored there. There was always something to find. Something to do.




But I always came home. To my little neighborhood. Where I could ride my bike with my friends. I would run out, dollar in hand every time I heard that familiar jingle of the ice cream truck.

I liked growing up there. I liked being close to the ever growing stores and restaurants and conveniences. I liked going to a high school with several thousand people.

Since I've been living on my own, I've moved several times, but I never left this town. My oldest son has been to 3 schools. He's 10. I alleviate my guilt about that by telling myself that at least we've stayed in the same district.

Where we live now isn't so bad. It's a little busy. We're about 5 minutes from a very developed road. But that means every store I could need 5 minutes away. We're in a small neighborhood, but bordering a couple larger ones, including the one I grew up in. Several mornings a week I go to these neighborhoods for a run. Almost every morning after the kids get on the bus, the husband and I bring our coffee and go for a walk in those neighborhoods. We can walk to the kids school.

We just moved here last year, and are renting from a family friend. My parents live about 20 minutes away. The husbands parents live about 5 minutes away.
There are some things I don't love. Like our postage stamp yard. The actual neighborhood where we live. And the fact that the woman who owns our house, wants to move back in next July. So no matter what, we have to be out by July 2010 the latest.

Almost every morning on our walks I complain about how I feel like I don't belong here anymore. Like it's become too stifling. There is no room to live and breathe and grow. And then I go on about my romanticized love affair with the country. And farms. And houses with big front porches and views.


Well, two days ago we were offered something amazing. I mean, once in a lifetime kind of amazing. This lovely couple we know wants us to have their house. Kind of. They are moving in with her mother soon (she's ill) and once she passes, they are moving to their vacation home full time. They are getting ready to put their current house on the market. This is a house that they raised their family in. A house they rebuilt themselves. They love it, but it's time for them to let it go.

For some reason, they really like us. And they asked if we would like to live in that house for the same (ridiculously low) rent that we pay now. And then when my husband is done with school in a year or so, we can buy it. For 40,000 less than the appraised price.

We're going to look at it this weekend. It's only maybe a half hour away. But it's pretty much a world away.

It's in the county. I mean, farms for neighbors. It has a cellar. A front porch with a view. It backs up to forever wild woods. It's really the deal of a lifetime.

But it means giving up the thrill of searching for our own house. It means asking my kids to give up afternoons playing with their friends until the sun is setting. It means asking them to give up riding bikes after school. Giving up chasing the ice-cream man. Giving up evening walks. Giving up their school we just moved to, the friends they just made and starting all over. Again.

It means going from a VERY large school district, to a VERY (very!) small one.

But it also means a different life. A slower one. It means bonfires. And big gardens. Fruit trees. A tire swing.


Then again, it also means now living almost an hour from my parents. A half hour from the in laws. No more quick trips to grandma and grandpas. No more last minute overnight babysitters. No more lingering over dinner and drinking wine till 10pm with our parents. It also means moving from my sister, the goddess of last minute babysitting help. And moving from our friends. Visits from and to them won't be as spontaneous. They'll have to be planned. We'll lose some time together, I think.

I'm so torn. It's kind of what I've wanted, for a long time. It's an amazing opportunity. But now that I'm looking at it, for real and not sometime in the future, but NOW- I'm apprehensive. I suddenly appreciate where I've lived my whole life. I've kind of found a new little love for it. I'm a little uncertain. And sad to give up what we have.

But I've never been good at change. This could be a good one. It will be different. Our lives will be different. But it could be good. Sometimes I feel like we are spinning out of control here. Maybe we could all use this.

We'll see.