There's no other explanation for it. She just hates me. Why else would I be cleaning smooshy cat poo from my shower at 5am this morning? And I must love her, or I would have kicked her right in her tush when she pranced in front of me while I was filling the garden and proceeded to poo (butt turned towards me, so she was sure there was no mistaking what she was up to).
She looks cute, but she's evil.
In fact, she's so evil she wouldn't she wouldn't let me get a good picture of her, to prove her cuteness.