Sunday, May 31, 2009

One down, a lifetime to go

K and I met when I was 14. We had mutual friends, so our paths often crossed.

7 years later our paths crossed at the right time and the right place.

We've been together ever since. This life together has not always been easy. It has not always been pretty, especially to people on the outside looking in. But even in the worst of times, it has always been right. There is no one in the world I would rather be with, and no place else I'd rather be every night.

We went into this relationship already knowing so much about each other, that there were no walls, no coy games, no courting. Just us. From the first moment it just seemed natural and right. And there were so many people - so many friends - who never expected it to work. But it did, and it has. We balance each other.

We've been together for almost 8 years now. We've been married for a full year, today. It hardly seems that one whole year has gone by.

I was never one who dreamed about my wedding day my whole life. For a long time, I had no desire to be married. I mean, what was marriage - besides a piece of paper? We didn't need that, to prove our commitment to each other. But somehow, somewhere, that changed.

I loved everything about our wedding. It couldn't have been more perfect. It was really a beautiful, personal, blissful day.

There were so many people that helped us. They offered their time, their assistance, their expertise.

My boss paid for all the flowers, arranged all the flowers - including the bouquets and did all of the decorating for me.

I didn't have to worry about a thing. We did provide the linens and several of the decorations. But she put it all together. I didn't see it all until about 2 hours before the ceremony and it took my breath away. It all came together so beautifully. It was so much more than perfect.

Originally, I had planned on making my own wedding dress, but was talked out of it by several people. What they said made sense. I procrastinate. I'd be working on it the night before. There were going to be a lot of things to do, since most of our wedding was DIY. I didn't need the stress. it was all so, so true.

So for several months, I researched independant seamstresses who made dresses in the style I wanted. I spent soooo much time doing this. I wanted the perfect dress, I had it pictured in my head and though I tried on several ready made dresses, I knew that what I wanted didn't yet exist.

So I finally found and settled on a woman who's work I admired and ordered my dress. I spoke with her on the phone several times - exchanged e-mails. I paid the deposit several months before the wedding date, and paid the remaining amount when the dress was shipped.

I was so excited the day it arrived. I called several of my bridesmaids over. Tried it on.

It was horrible. Awful. It didn't come close to fitting. It wasn't professionally done at all. I won't go on and on about how awful it was, but it was a nightmare. Did I mention that the dress didn't arrive until 3 weeks before the wedding?

It's another long story, maybe for another day - but in the end I fought with the woman for almost 2 weeks to get my money back - and started making a dress from scratch - 2 weeks before the wedding. Luckily, I had an amazing friend willing to help me. The end result was lovely. And I was happy.

I really could go on and on about all the wonderful things people did for us. The constant support from certain people. My wedding hair. Our honeymoon.

Our reverend we found at the last minute - almost, about 6 weeks before. And she was amazing. I mean, just amazing. I adored her. If you're getting married in the CNY area, look up Pamela Anderegg. She's a Unitarian Reverand in Auburn and simply wonderful.

The Vows

Welcome to the wedding of Crystal and Kevin. I am the Reverend Pamela Anderegg. Let's take a moment and appreciate our beautiful surroundings!

Kevin and Crystal have asked you to be here this afternoon to witness this celebration because each of you has given something of yourselves to their lives.

This wedding is a time for sharing with friends and family the joyfulness of the next step in Kevin and Crystals relationship. They have invited us here today to share in this celebration which marks the beginning of their marriage. We come together not to mark the beginning of a relationship, only to celebrate the commitment to a connection that already exists. They have promised themselves to each other in their hearts and in their actions. Today they pledge to keep that promise. This is the greatest choice two people can make in their lives.

It is one of life's richest surprises when the accidental meeting of two paths leads them to proceed together along the common path of husband and wife and it is one of life's finests experiences when a casual relationship grows into a permanent bond of love.

Apache Wedding Blessing

Now you will feel no rain,
for each of you will be shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
for each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness for you,
for each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies,
but there is only one life before you.
The hand which you each offer the other,
is an extension of yourselves;
Just as is the warmth & love which you express to each other.
Cherish the touch,
for you are touching another life.
Be sensitive to it's pulse,
& try to understand & respect it's flow & rhythm,
Just as you would your own.
Go now to your dwelling place,
to enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good & long upon this earth

May I have the rings please?

The ring is an outward symbol of the love and commitment Crystal and Kevin have for each other.

It signifies the full circle bond that they share as partners. A circle is the symbol of the sun
and the moon and the earth and the universe, of wholeness, perfection and peace.

And in these rings there is a symbol of unity in which your two lives are now joined in one unbroken circle of endless love. Bless these rings and their purpose, let those who wear them live forever with the happiness that these rings represent.


You come gladly to this moment. You have already shared much of your lives and you know from experience that you get along well together. You have lived together and it has not been enough.
Today, you chose to make a deeper commitment to yourselves and to your children. It is your way of telling each other that your experience together has been so good, that you want it to continue for the rest of your lives.

Will you, Kevin, take Crystal to be your wife through good times and bad? To grow old and to change with her?
To do all that you can to keep your marriage strong and happy and alive with possibilities?
Kevin, will you open your heart to her and cherish her love for you; will you return that love with caring and understanding? Will you promise to build a home that is compassionate to all, full of respect and honor for others and for each other?

I will.

Will you, Crystal, take Kevin to be your husband through good times and bad? To grow old and to change with him?
To do all that you can to keep your marriage strong and happy and alive with possibilities?
Crystal, will you open your heart to him and cherish his love for you; will you return that love with caring and
understanding? Will you promise to build a home that is compassionate to all, full of respect and honor for
others and for each other?

I will.

We pray for concord and creativity as well as for love and laughter in your life together; and when there is pain, may there be peace that not passes away. We pray for joy that you will share with other people, and for your home, may it be a temple for that which is beautiful and and good and true. As you share the richer experiences in life, so may your hearts and minds and
souls be knit evermore closely together. And yet may your bonds of sympathy strengthen your separate personalities. We pray for courage for you when the road is rough and for humility for you when fortune favors you. May you carry the past gratefully with you in all the
years of your sojourn, and with an equal measure of hope ever face the future unafraid.

It is with great joy that I now pronounce that you are husband and wife.

Would you care to seal your vows with a kiss?

(Kevin: Absolutely!)

Go now, hand in hand, along the path that you choose to walk together. Maintain a closeness to nature, a degree of simplicity, an awareness of beauty, and a love for each other which will always permit you to look into each others eyes and say that you would do it again. Kevin and Crystal have come to me to be married, I return them to you so that you will bless them with your friendship,guidance, support, encouragement and love, which will forever be appreciated and will continue to be an important part of their lives.

1 comment:

Barefoot Goddess said...

Happy Annniversary! I'm soo glad you still look fondly back on your special day, and hope you have many many more happy years to come and that we can be a part of your lives!